Sticky situations

So I just keep getting so caught up in situations. Sticky situations. And I just don't like it. But I've come to notice that sometimes I get so caught up in the situation and I forget who I am. But then I stop and I'm like okay God I guess I could get your input. And I just love the feeling of peace before I even pour out my heart to God. And the the more I pour my heart out the more it's like this problem seems so big, but in reality when compared to my God this problem is like smaller than the tiniest ant. And ah I just love the peace that comes with trusting God with the whole situation. I'm just coming to love prayer more and more and more. And I love it. Which leads me to this. There are a few people in my life that I just I love them to death. Just really care about them. And they are hurting or struggling with one thing or another. And I am such a people pleaser and I want to always make everything better but sometimes you just can't. So from this day I'm making a promise to myself that I'm gonna pray for these friends of mine...specific to their situations. I just. I don't know what else to do. But I do know that the second I even think about taking a problem I God I get peace so I feel like right now praying for these people on a daily basis is what is going to help the most. Anyways. Well bed time calls. Goodnight.

Christmas time

Here it is the night before Christmas and I'm laying in the floor of my grandparents living room playing wheel of fortune against my mom on our iPhones as we sit in the same room. This Christmas I just feel so blessed with just everything, from my family, to my friends, to being healthy and having a roof over my head. But most of all I'm thankful for Jesus. This Christmas has been so different. Yes, I have been raised in a Christian family where I was taught the real meaning I Christmas but this year it's just seemed to click like no other year. I'm just sitting here imagining what 2000 something years ago the world was awaiting the birth of the Savior. I know like just saying it, it doesn't sound like much...but just sit and imagine...the One...the promised One...it was finally God's timing for Jesus to enter this world. I just...the more I sit and imagine about it...the more chills it gives me...Jesus coming into this sin-filled world. Just think He left Heaven...for us! That's just unfathomable to me. Now this is not even close to comparison but I think of it similar to leaving Hawaii and going to the desert or to like Antarctica. And now only did he choose to come here but he chose to come here and pretty much be tortured and abused and murdered for our sake. For us! Because He loved us. And I know I think that's Easter not Christmas. But they go hand in hand. And this Christmas I'm just in complete awe of this Savior who loves me more than anything. And this Christmas I refuse to get wrapped up in anything unless it is Jesus. That's it....JESUS!

Want vs need

You came into my life for a reason. Or maybe I came into your life for a reason. I've been through what you're going through. I know the hurt you're feeling. I've felt it too. I was trying to be the one who helped you see the light at the end of the tunnel because once I was the one who thought this season of sadness would never end. But along the way maybe I fell for you just a little bit. Maybe I put my guard down more than I should have. Right now I know that's not what you need even if you may think it is. Right now you just need a friend. Right now it's time to put those certain guards back up and be the friend you need me to be. Right now I want to go back to the just friends we were until your hurt is gone. Until you feel whole again. Then maybe. Just maybe we could see where else this might go.

Unorganized

Okay right now I just have so much on my mind and it's so just unorganized. First I just am feeling so blessed about having such an amazing family and friends and having the opportunity to get an education and most importantly for Jesus Christ. Which brings me to the second thing it's Christmas time and this Christmas feels so different than any other. This Christmas it's just like I've hit this point of realizing Christmas is really all about Jesus. Take away the presents, Santa, or even family time. That isn't what it's about. It is about Jesus and his coming into this world. It's not just about his coming but it's about his life. I'm just humbled by that fact. And this Christmas I don't want to get caught in the Christmas season. I want to just be in awe of Jesus and just Him alone. Third thing right now my heart is just breaking for the families in Connecticut who lost their precious children in a school shooting. My prayer is that lives will be touched through this terrible incidence and that God's glory will be revealed in even something so terrible is taking the lives of 20 precious 6 and 7 year olds. Cause ultimately God's glory will prevail. Okay now to change topics. One last thing I want to talk about. FRIENDS! This semester of school I have truly found some of the most amazing friends. Some I have found to be less true than others. But some I have found, I know they will be true friends till well forever. And those friends you can go to about anything and who will drop anything to just listen to you...well those are the type of people in your life that you need. I've realized that those people who bring you more sadness than happiness...well they aren't worth your time or energy. So that's al so right now I'm feeling blessed, saddened, and also very thankful!

Not by accident

God works in mysterious ways. The past couple of days I've been dealing with brokenheartedness. And this morning my daily devotion on my phone was called Brokenhearted. It said The Lord is close to the Brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Then it goes on to say...are you missing someone who is very dear to your heart? Te pain may be very deep and unbearable. And while you may think nobody can truly understand your pain, there is. Relinquish your sadness to God, even if it's for a moment and you will feel competed. Remember, God loves you and will never give up on you.
I just love little reminders like this that when all you wanna do is cry, God just sends you a little message. Nothing is by coincidence or accident.

A time of worship

So it's been a while since I have blogged anything. But it's hard for me to blog about just anything. But today I got this realization, this insight. This morning at church I just really felt there...all there. You know sometimes you just don't feel like your whole heart is there. But today was not like that. During worship, my thought was I cannot wait to get to heaven so I can worship the creator 24/7 and nothing else. Nothing to worry about, no school work to do, no work, no tears, no grief or sadness, no confusion. Just worshiping the Savior. It just put me in a place like I really don't wanna do anything but worship Him. But the more I got to thinking about it, I can worship Him now all the time. I can worship and praise Him in my school work, I can worship and praise him in my job. You name it there is a way to worship Him in every situation. And the more I think and pray about this, the more I realize this is what we are called to do. We are called to worship, praise, and glorify Him. So that's my conviction today...to find a way in every situation to worship the Father!

Blessed

So I'm laying here on another sleepless night. I seem to have plenty of these. But tonight it's like I'm torn. I feel so blessed but at the same time I feel frustrated or unhappy. Which makes no sense. So I'm just gonna spit off a list of reasons why I should be happy. So first off the Creator of this world loves me an cares about me...that for one should trump and idea of being unhappy...continuing... I'm healthy, I have an amazing family, I'm have immense opportunities to further my education, I have friends that are actually real friends, I love my job. Goodness. I guess the list could go on and on. Now why am I frustrated? Cause of one person? That's just silly! Why do I let one person control my emotions so easily? From now on this needs to stop. I'm so blessed and half the time I feel like I don't even acknowledge it...I just complain. I need to go volunteer somewhere at least once a week with underprivileged kids then maybe It will be a constant reminder of look how blessed you are look what you have. It's just a thought that had been on my mind. But speaking of blessings... One new blessing in my life is my new circle of friends...blog coming soon. But for now I'm going to bed. Goodnight!

Change

Here I am at 1 o'clock in the morning. Tennessee just lost another football game. What's new? It feels like we are in a constant state of change we can say this in every situation just about. For instance in the football game tonight one minute it looked promising, the next minute... well it looked like Tennessee football. This is how all of life is...we are in a constant state of change. And I, for one, am not a fan of change. It's like one minute your life is all together and the next you're like what the heck happened in the last 5 minutes. I think God is trying to teach me something. Something he's been trying to teach me for a very long time. And probably everyone else in this world. I think he's trying to teach me that yes everything in this life may change but He is never changing. he is gonna stay the same when everything falls apart. And sometimes it takes us falling apart to realize that you know maybe this wasn't everything. Maybe there was more to life than this job, this relationship, this school, whatever it is. I ran across this quote recently that pretty much sums up what I'm feeling tonight. It says: if life were stable, I'd never need God's help. Since it's not, I reach out for Him regularly. I will be thankful for the unknowns and that I do not have control, because it makes me run to God....so I'm just sitting here, praying, thinking. How different might my life be if I really grasped the fact that nothing else matters in comparison to God. I think if every Christian grasped this point, the world would be a different place. I wanna strive to live this way. I wanna strive to see God through everything even when at the highest of highs or at the lowest of lows I want my first thought to be what more can I do to give God complete control of my life? What more can I do to give God every bit of the glory that he deserves? I want that to be my purpose!

Faith

Faith...It's what this life comes down to. Over the past month, I've been working my way through reading the New Testament. And literally every page is either "you of little faith" or "your faith has healed you". We may not realize it but we have faith just about every second of the day. You have faith at night that when you go to sleep, you will wake up the next morning, when you get in your car and drive you have faith that your brakes are going to work, when you sit down in a chair you have faith that it is going to hold you up. And every single day we have faith that this spinning ball that we call the earth is still gonna continue to orbit around the sun exactly like it is supposed to. What is funny is we/I trust that to God every single day and do not even think twice about it. Yet I have such a hard time trusting him with things such as making the grades I want in school, where I am going to go to physical therapy school, who to date or who not to date, etc. And not to make our problems seem small, but I am pretty sure if the earth just fell from the sky we would probably be a little bit more worried about that than which boy to date or which graduate school to apply to. So why is it that we have no problem trusting God with the huge stuff, but we have such a harder time with the smaller things? I cannot tell you the answer. Maybe it is cause we typically do not think about the bigger stuff. Maybe we just expect God to keep the earth afloat, even though we have no business expecting any such thing of God. He is still God and He can do as He pleases. It is funny cause as I have been thinking about all this stuff with faith tonight at church the verse they taught from was James 1:2-3 which says "When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow." God just keeps blowing my mind with "throwing" faith at me. So what this verse has come at me with is that when troubles come into our life, no matter how big or small, we should think of them as joy because it allows us to grow in our faith and our patience. God wants us to put all of our trust and faith in Him. And really if we can't trust our lives to the Creator of the universe, the Creator of you and me, who really can you trust? So here is my petition, If we can trust God to keep this ball rotating around the sun or heck, even trust Him enough with our eternal beings, how much more should we trust him with our future, our relationships. He loves us. He's not gonna jeopardize us. He is looking out for our best interest. And I feel like if we were to genuinely trust Him, He would bless us beyond measure. And one last thing, trusting him include times even when we do not understand what He is doing. I recently read a quote from the book crazy love that goes perfectly with this it says "Not being able to fully understand God is frustrating, but it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of understanding."