Blessed

So I'm laying here on another sleepless night. I seem to have plenty of these. But tonight it's like I'm torn. I feel so blessed but at the same time I feel frustrated or unhappy. Which makes no sense. So I'm just gonna spit off a list of reasons why I should be happy. So first off the Creator of this world loves me an cares about me...that for one should trump and idea of being unhappy...continuing... I'm healthy, I have an amazing family, I'm have immense opportunities to further my education, I have friends that are actually real friends, I love my job. Goodness. I guess the list could go on and on. Now why am I frustrated? Cause of one person? That's just silly! Why do I let one person control my emotions so easily? From now on this needs to stop. I'm so blessed and half the time I feel like I don't even acknowledge it...I just complain. I need to go volunteer somewhere at least once a week with underprivileged kids then maybe It will be a constant reminder of look how blessed you are look what you have. It's just a thought that had been on my mind. But speaking of blessings... One new blessing in my life is my new circle of friends...blog coming soon. But for now I'm going to bed. Goodnight!

Change

Here I am at 1 o'clock in the morning. Tennessee just lost another football game. What's new? It feels like we are in a constant state of change we can say this in every situation just about. For instance in the football game tonight one minute it looked promising, the next minute... well it looked like Tennessee football. This is how all of life is...we are in a constant state of change. And I, for one, am not a fan of change. It's like one minute your life is all together and the next you're like what the heck happened in the last 5 minutes. I think God is trying to teach me something. Something he's been trying to teach me for a very long time. And probably everyone else in this world. I think he's trying to teach me that yes everything in this life may change but He is never changing. he is gonna stay the same when everything falls apart. And sometimes it takes us falling apart to realize that you know maybe this wasn't everything. Maybe there was more to life than this job, this relationship, this school, whatever it is. I ran across this quote recently that pretty much sums up what I'm feeling tonight. It says: if life were stable, I'd never need God's help. Since it's not, I reach out for Him regularly. I will be thankful for the unknowns and that I do not have control, because it makes me run to God....so I'm just sitting here, praying, thinking. How different might my life be if I really grasped the fact that nothing else matters in comparison to God. I think if every Christian grasped this point, the world would be a different place. I wanna strive to live this way. I wanna strive to see God through everything even when at the highest of highs or at the lowest of lows I want my first thought to be what more can I do to give God complete control of my life? What more can I do to give God every bit of the glory that he deserves? I want that to be my purpose!