Sticky situations

So I just keep getting so caught up in situations. Sticky situations. And I just don't like it. But I've come to notice that sometimes I get so caught up in the situation and I forget who I am. But then I stop and I'm like okay God I guess I could get your input. And I just love the feeling of peace before I even pour out my heart to God. And the the more I pour my heart out the more it's like this problem seems so big, but in reality when compared to my God this problem is like smaller than the tiniest ant. And ah I just love the peace that comes with trusting God with the whole situation. I'm just coming to love prayer more and more and more. And I love it. Which leads me to this. There are a few people in my life that I just I love them to death. Just really care about them. And they are hurting or struggling with one thing or another. And I am such a people pleaser and I want to always make everything better but sometimes you just can't. So from this day I'm making a promise to myself that I'm gonna pray for these friends of mine...specific to their situations. I just. I don't know what else to do. But I do know that the second I even think about taking a problem I God I get peace so I feel like right now praying for these people on a daily basis is what is going to help the most. Anyways. Well bed time calls. Goodnight.

Christmas time

Here it is the night before Christmas and I'm laying in the floor of my grandparents living room playing wheel of fortune against my mom on our iPhones as we sit in the same room. This Christmas I just feel so blessed with just everything, from my family, to my friends, to being healthy and having a roof over my head. But most of all I'm thankful for Jesus. This Christmas has been so different. Yes, I have been raised in a Christian family where I was taught the real meaning I Christmas but this year it's just seemed to click like no other year. I'm just sitting here imagining what 2000 something years ago the world was awaiting the birth of the Savior. I know like just saying it, it doesn't sound like much...but just sit and imagine...the One...the promised One...it was finally God's timing for Jesus to enter this world. I just...the more I sit and imagine about it...the more chills it gives me...Jesus coming into this sin-filled world. Just think He left Heaven...for us! That's just unfathomable to me. Now this is not even close to comparison but I think of it similar to leaving Hawaii and going to the desert or to like Antarctica. And now only did he choose to come here but he chose to come here and pretty much be tortured and abused and murdered for our sake. For us! Because He loved us. And I know I think that's Easter not Christmas. But they go hand in hand. And this Christmas I'm just in complete awe of this Savior who loves me more than anything. And this Christmas I refuse to get wrapped up in anything unless it is Jesus. That's it....JESUS!

Want vs need

You came into my life for a reason. Or maybe I came into your life for a reason. I've been through what you're going through. I know the hurt you're feeling. I've felt it too. I was trying to be the one who helped you see the light at the end of the tunnel because once I was the one who thought this season of sadness would never end. But along the way maybe I fell for you just a little bit. Maybe I put my guard down more than I should have. Right now I know that's not what you need even if you may think it is. Right now you just need a friend. Right now it's time to put those certain guards back up and be the friend you need me to be. Right now I want to go back to the just friends we were until your hurt is gone. Until you feel whole again. Then maybe. Just maybe we could see where else this might go.

Unorganized

Okay right now I just have so much on my mind and it's so just unorganized. First I just am feeling so blessed about having such an amazing family and friends and having the opportunity to get an education and most importantly for Jesus Christ. Which brings me to the second thing it's Christmas time and this Christmas feels so different than any other. This Christmas it's just like I've hit this point of realizing Christmas is really all about Jesus. Take away the presents, Santa, or even family time. That isn't what it's about. It is about Jesus and his coming into this world. It's not just about his coming but it's about his life. I'm just humbled by that fact. And this Christmas I don't want to get caught in the Christmas season. I want to just be in awe of Jesus and just Him alone. Third thing right now my heart is just breaking for the families in Connecticut who lost their precious children in a school shooting. My prayer is that lives will be touched through this terrible incidence and that God's glory will be revealed in even something so terrible is taking the lives of 20 precious 6 and 7 year olds. Cause ultimately God's glory will prevail. Okay now to change topics. One last thing I want to talk about. FRIENDS! This semester of school I have truly found some of the most amazing friends. Some I have found to be less true than others. But some I have found, I know they will be true friends till well forever. And those friends you can go to about anything and who will drop anything to just listen to you...well those are the type of people in your life that you need. I've realized that those people who bring you more sadness than happiness...well they aren't worth your time or energy. So that's al so right now I'm feeling blessed, saddened, and also very thankful!